MNML

Yo I'm just a kid who loves to listen, learn and think out loud. I like to look at both sides of the coin before presenting my own argument. I like to explore different methods of achieving the same thing, hoping to discover a new end result in the same process.

Creative? Nah, I like to call it being in the right place at the right time; having a vague understanding of life and how shit works.

Follow me, don't follow me. I don't care. This blog is for myself so I can jot down bullshit that comes to me in an attempt to de-clutter my thoughts and perhaps understand them.

As for my photography, everything I upload is raw and unedited. I like to experiment with filtration of light to achieve my resulting shots. Unless of course the black and white shots which are run through a b/w filter in Photoshop. Mostly though, my shots are unedited ^______^
Ask a kid who knows more than he knows anything.
Posts tagged fuck
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I tend to belittle people a lot these days. In many cases I feel superior to most. All my morals and ethics say it would be wrong to do so, Though I can’t help that, can I? I am proud to be fitter, I am proud to be more intelligent, I am proud to be wiser, more loved, more caring, more compassionate, more empathetic, nicer, more genuine, and more mentally aligned… …than those who aren’t. When I’m criticised, I don’t take it to heart. I work on these faults and correct them. I feel like I’m a good person And I try to be a good person And I’m thankful for my upbringing every day. So thank you parents. And yes I am proud. And no I don’t think it’s wrong to be so. But yes I tend to disparage those a lot more than I used to. (The internet has claimed me victim to such actions, or at least I feel this is the reason) But I do often catch myself out about to bemuse an online cretin with ambiguous insults. This is not something I particularly enjoy doing, but I’m often inclined to do so regardless. Anyhow. These are just some words on the internet. Thank you. Here is a photo that describes how I’m feeling.

I tend to belittle people a lot these days.

In many cases I feel superior to most.

All my morals and ethics say it would be wrong to do so,

Though I can’t help that, can I?

I am proud to be fitter,

I am proud to be more intelligent,

I am proud to be wiser, more loved, more caring, more compassionate, more empathetic, nicer, more genuine, and more mentally aligned…

…than those who aren’t.

When I’m criticised,

I don’t take it to heart.

I work on these faults and correct them.

I feel like I’m a good person

And I try to be a good person

And I’m thankful for my upbringing every day.

So thank you parents.

And yes I am proud.

And no I don’t think it’s wrong to be so.

But yes I tend to disparage those a lot more than I used to.

(The internet has claimed me victim to such actions, or at least I feel this is the reason)

But I do often catch myself out about to bemuse an online cretin with ambiguous insults.

This is not something I particularly enjoy doing, but I’m often inclined to do so regardless.

Anyhow.

These are just some words on the internet.

Thank you.

Here is a photo that describes how I’m feeling.

Fuck I don’t even want to go to parties and have fun I just want to play video games. Here is a photo of me in a YOLO hat. XDX is my clan in HoN. dun b mad its k dun cry.

Fuck I don’t even want to go to parties and have fun I just want to play video games.

Here is a photo of me in a YOLO hat. XDX is my clan in HoN.

dun b mad its k dun cry.

MY BRIEF RANT ON EVERYTHING

Today has been an utterly shit day, filled to the brim with sheer disappointment. I can’t even be bothered typing so I’m gonna glaze briskly over my day.

Fucking Natarsha. People with normal names spelled ridiculously, piss me off. It’s like they think they’re better than everyone. God damnit. Okay so there’s this news reader where I work, and fuck she pisses me off. Anyway, the dumb bitch comes up to me with her mic wrapped in toilet paper and explains that she’s dropped it in the fucking toilet. HOW DO YOU DO THIS WOMAN?! SERIOUS. Whatever, I give her a new pack it’s fine, but she’s all nonchalant. Fuck. Whatever, I do my job and keep the show running, THEN SHE FUCKING UNPLUGS HER EAR PIECE AND CLAIMS IT’S BROKEN. “hey I can’t hear anything”. Fuck, almost ruins her news segment and people are yelling at me like I’ve done something wrong and then I’m like “Tarsh plug yourself in” and she laughs it off. Fuck. Shit. Goddamnit. Anyway, that put me in a shitty mood.

Work’s over and I’m agitated, but driving down listening to music seems to cool me off. Whatever, I go home and sleep. Then mum makes a delicious dinner, which dad drops on the ground. Way to go buddy! Well fucking done! Ruining dinner that you didn’t even cook. You manage to fuck up dinner every other night, and the one night you don’t cook… Congrats. Whatever. Shit happens.

Next, I’d like to brush up on is fucking fat people. I sincerely find fat people hideous. Every time I look at my cousin I am genuinely disgusted. Ugh it’s hideous. I don’t understand why I find it so distressing, however when I see another person who is overweight, it just aggravates me. Especially fat parents… Ugh… lskaglksdjhgalstu fuck shit. It’s literally unappealing to view. AND WHY WEAR TIGHTS? You jalskgjalskgj. Fuck. Stop. Just stop.

Finally, I don’t get to see Lorna tonight… Seems like Spring’s gotten the best of her asthma. Her chest’s tight and it upsets me that she never seems to feel alright. She’s never feeling good, always “fine”, but never “good”, or “great”. It’s not fair, and this upsets me. Why should she have to deal with that, why should anyone have to deal with it? I wish I could just fix her. I wish I could fix everyone. I wish I could fix the shitty attitude of Natarsha, fix my dad’s apparent dementia, fix fat people, and finally fix the world. Fuck.

So that was my day… The universe seemed to take a holiday; it just kicked back its legs and watched me get all fucking exasperated and shit. Fuck. Dicks.

Day? Night? Who gives a fuck

I don’t remember the last time I felt awake. Alive? No I feel alive all the time. I know I’m alive. But awake? No, no, no, no! Never awake. Sometimes awake but never awake. A perpetual staring contest among myself conversing silence.

So this pretty much sums up the night…

Hi, I uploaded the wrong photo. Here is my turtle. He still doesn’t give a fuck.

Hi, I uploaded the wrong photo. Here is my turtle. He still doesn’t give a fuck.

Late night reckless driving on empty streets help when you’re feeling fucking angry as fuck.

I want to update so much but it seems like there’s nothing to write about. Of course that’s not true at all because there’s the entire universe to explore and write shit about but for some reason nothing at all interests me in the slightest. I remember a time where I could write pages on anything that interested me. I could write about foods, different cultures, video games, degradation of society, people, television, music, politics or anything but for whatever reason, nothing seems to move me. I’ll trudge a long through tumblr looking for inspiration; hoping to find someone to argue with or something to complain about but not a single post will grab my attention and make me want to write. It’s lame. It makes me feel hollow inside. I won’t smile at my computer screen any more; I won’t go out and take photos. I won’t go find new music or read a book or study or jack shit. I’ll just sit at my fucking desk, turn on my computer, listen to music, open tumblr, click “new post” sit here for a few minutes then X out of it. Sometimes I wonder what I look like sitting in front of this life draining piece of shit. I wonder what other people would say about me if they saw me. I wonder if they would see it as lame, unhealthy, or what. It hurts to think about it this way but I suppose this is what I need; I’ve just gotta face the music and put my life into perspective, which is really shit right now. I have the most wonderful girl I’m privellaged to call my girlfriend. I have a best friend who I don’t even see that often any more. I’m at uni most of the week (sometimes ‘til 8pm or later). I rarely see my parents despite me living with them (mum works ‘til late most nights and I’m sitting in my room playing video games or browsing tumblr, youtube or whatever). My sister and I have drifted apart. I don’t have a job. I’m losing focus at uni.  I’m losing focus on what’s real and what’s not. Dreams feel so real and reality feels so dull and lifeless. Days are feeling shorter and feel like a blur. I’m beginning to feel like I’m standing still while time flies past. The world is busy yet I’m left behind, but deep down I know that’s my own fault and it’s up to me to keep up and stay on track. I’m stalled in frantic world and I can’t seem to get going again. Maybe it’s sleep deprivation. I think I need to see a counsellor or a shrink or something. TD;DR: I’m tired and angsty. Also 200th post <3

I want to update so much but it seems like there’s nothing to write about. Of course that’s not true at all because there’s the entire universe to explore and write shit about but for some reason nothing at all interests me in the slightest. I remember a time where I could write pages on anything that interested me. I could write about foods, different cultures, video games, degradation of society, people, television, music, politics or anything but for whatever reason, nothing seems to move me.

I’ll trudge a long through tumblr looking for inspiration; hoping to find someone to argue with or something to complain about but not a single post will grab my attention and make me want to write. It’s lame. It makes me feel hollow inside. I won’t smile at my computer screen any more; I won’t go out and take photos. I won’t go find new music or read a book or study or jack shit. I’ll just sit at my fucking desk, turn on my computer, listen to music, open tumblr, click “new post” sit here for a few minutes then X out of it.

Sometimes I wonder what I look like sitting in front of this life draining piece of shit. I wonder what other people would say about me if they saw me. I wonder if they would see it as lame, unhealthy, or what. It hurts to think about it this way but I suppose this is what I need; I’ve just gotta face the music and put my life into perspective, which is really shit right now.

I have the most wonderful girl I’m privellaged to call my girlfriend. I have a best friend who I don’t even see that often any more. I’m at uni most of the week (sometimes ‘til 8pm or later). I rarely see my parents despite me living with them (mum works ‘til late most nights and I’m sitting in my room playing video games or browsing tumblr, youtube or whatever). My sister and I have drifted apart. I don’t have a job. I’m losing focus at uni. 

I’m losing focus on what’s real and what’s not. Dreams feel so real and reality feels so dull and lifeless. Days are feeling shorter and feel like a blur. I’m beginning to feel like I’m standing still while time flies past. The world is busy yet I’m left behind, but deep down I know that’s my own fault and it’s up to me to keep up and stay on track. I’m stalled in frantic world and I can’t seem to get going again. Maybe it’s sleep deprivation. I think I need to see a counsellor or a shrink or something.

TD;DR: I’m tired and angsty. Also 200th post <3

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